約拿丹 悠樂翔 DJ*onathan's Blog

朋友對我說, let ourselves beloved.

Beloved…
Be
Loved

Be loved, by yourself.
Be loved, by God.

He is ready to meet you
where you are.

不知時間往那裡去了
一下子 就過了十個多月

很久沒有寫部落格了!
唉~ 忙是不錯 不過也是藉口
提不出那半丁點兒的力量 推動一下
就像遲遲都沒有「再次開始」做運動一樣…

由靜止(stillness)到運行(motion) 差別
往往就是這 看似很微細
但又異常困難 的一個起步

今天有點「心動」
(Stirrings of my heart…)
看見這首詩 很喜歡 想記載下來

The Sacrament of Waiting
Macrina Wiederkehr

Slowly
she celebrated the sacrament of letting go.
First she surrendered her green,
then the orange, yellow, and red
finally she let go of her brown.
Shedding her last leaf
she stood empty and silent, stripped bare.
Leaning against the winter sky
she began her vigil of trust.

Shedding her last leaf
she watched its journey to the ground.
She stood in silence
wearing the color of emptiness,
her branches wondering;
How do you give shade with so much gone?

And then,
the sacrament of waiting began.
The sunrise and sunset watched with tenderness.
Clothing her with silhouettes
they kept her hope alive.

They helped her understand that
her vulnerability,
her dependence and need,
her emptiness,
her readiness to receive
were giving her a new kind of beauty.
Every morning and every evening they stood in silence
and celebrated together
the sacrament of waiting.

剛從退修會回來
感恩 自覺短短三天 獲益良多
很多東西想在此和大家分享
不過…還是慢慢的來吧 :-)

不過 急不及待 還是想把這兩句話記下來…
蕭牧師說了 有矛塞頓開之感
希望你們也喜歡

Man fully alive is the glory of God – St. Irenaeus

甚麼是信?
信 該是我們自然的流露 其實很簡單的 就是回應
這不是那些 咬牙切齒 單憑我們意志力頑強的「信」
啊哈 原來我們都忘記了 誰是主人哩

What is faith?
A deep reliance towards God, willingly flow out from the depths of one’s heart, as one responds to God’s gracious action and invitation in that person’s life.

上週 得悉公司裡的副總裁辭職了
有點茫然若失之感

記得當年新工上任 頭一項要面對的大型計劃
還是多虧有他在旁邊鼓勵 指點一番
也幸好沒出甚麼亂子 把工作順利完成

雖說 工場中的聚散離別 純屬自然定律
老實說 自己也不再是初生之贖
這一切該曉得 沒有甚麼大不了的
早早要學會 用平常心面對

不過 我是一個性情中人
也學會了原諒自己
在生活上有很多很多 非偶有的思潮起伏

和大老闆關係蠻算不錯
最近碰巧遇著他 談起這件事來
「副總裁走了 他是你多年來的好拍擋 要找到一個像他那麼能幹的助手真不容易哩~」
我頓了頓 繼續說
「老實說 你沒有感到有點失落和憂慮麼?」

大老闆笑了 語氣很真誠
“This is life, Jonathan.”
奇怪的 也帶著一份堅定和安全感

This is life.
這句說話 尤其在外國
相信大家都聽得膩了
有時會笑著說 有時帶點苦澀
甚至乎 可能會是麻木了 說的時候沒啥感覺

這句話 中文大概可意譯為
「這就是生活」或「這就是生命」
對法文一竅不通的我 也知道有這一句: C’est la vie
(聽起來 好像更多一點欷歔的感覺)
曾經用這句話作為唱片 歌曲或電影名稱的
多不勝數 因為大家到會經歷過
對自己說這話的一刻

This is life.
這句話細心想想 其實是帶點玄的
背後含意令人會有很多的遐想
是負面的 也可以是正面的 任君選擇

This is life.
這 “this” 是指甚麼?
是 生活中的無奈?
是 那些 總是差了一點點的錯過?
是 你記憶裡抹不掉的回憶?
是 你很想很想要 但總是得不到的?

也不是一些很奢侈貪婪的要求
很簡單的 不算過份
健康 關係 生活上的平安 凡是順利 被愛的感覺
拼命去找 但總是 找不著
找著了 不知怎的 卻又溜走

「這就是生命」
「這」是甚麼?
是 要自己相信 希望換來的 總會是無盡的失望?
是 生活裡的無常和變幻 那份迷惑和沒權選擇的妥協?
是 不忿那世界原是不公平 但也祇得默默吞下去的感覺?
是 想做 但有心無力? 想愛 卻又發覺 愛心太少?
原來自己的愛是那麼有限 別人的 也不用提了

「這就是生命」
「這」是甚麼?
可會是形容 當你面對著生命的驚訝
那剎間的甜蜜?
在看來是無路可走的盡處 行過去
卻發然原來是有另一片 豁然開朗的自由?
可會是 碰到生活裡帶來的喜出望外?
那些 很多很多的「遺忘」
細意回味 生活上的點滴
都不是必然的 也不全是偶然巧合
原是該感謝 值得感恩的

「這就是生命」
「這」是甚麼?
可會是 明白到每個危難的背面 總會是另一個機會?
痛苦掙扎過後 帶來的會是堅強?
挫敗失意 驀然回首 發覺原來全都是給自己
成長中的禮物? 也是為別人帶來了祝福

「這」是你對生命的信念
塑造 引導了你和我的人生觀
是如何去看自己 洞察週遭的際遇
認識身邊的人 和自己每一段的關係
明白到 甚麼是人生

今天嘗試問問自己
在人生的旅程中
「這」到底是甚麼?

祝 旅途愉快 :-)

不開心的時候 也是一個成長和學習的經歷
在黑暗裡 看清楚自己
也認識祂多一點
很paradoxical…但是真的!

最近看到這一首詩 很喜歡

Sweet Darkness – David Whyte

When your eyes are tired,
the world is tired also.

When your vision is gone,
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.

Discernment.

According to Merriam-Webster, it’s “the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure.” Per Dictionary.com, it’s “the act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.” Wikipedia describes it as “the process of discerning God’s will for one’s life”.

I am learning, all over again.

It’s about listening for His presence in our lives, experiences, and decisions. For all those seemingly “big decisions” throughout our journey, but also (and especially) amongst the little-est of things in our daily living.

Recently joined a workshop about “Discernment” – and we had our first gathering last night at St. Joseph’s Parish Center. The first session was mostly about getting to know each other; and also understanding the life of Saint Ignatius of Loyola.

I’ve learned this prayer, and I want to share this with you all.

O Eternal One,
It would be easier for me to pray
if I were clear
and of a single mind and a pure heart;
if I could be done hiding from myself
and from you, even in my prayers.

But, I am who I am,
mixture of motives and excuses,
blur of memories,
quiver of hopes,
knot of fear,
tangle of confusion,
and restless with love,
for love.

I wander somewhere between
gratitude and grievance,
wonder and routine,
high resolve and undone dreams,
generous impulses and unpaid bills.

Come, find me, Lord.
Be with me exactly as I am.
Help me find me, Lord.
Help me accept what I am,
so I can begin to be yours.

Make of me something small enough to snuggle,
young enough to question,
simple enough to giggle,
old enough to forget,
foolish enough to act for peace;
skeptical enough to doubt
the sufficiency of anything but you,
and attentive enough to listen
as you call me out of the tomb of my timidity
into the chancy glory of my possibilities
and the power of your presence.

Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace, LuraMedia, 1984

Pastor shared with me a few days ago:

Who’s going to give you an answer, if you believe you have all the answers already?

悄悄

曾經有一段時間 你心情低落
甚至懶得拉開窗簾 看著窗外的陽光
因此你當然也忘了去看看
窗台上那一盆每天都需要喝水的瑪格麗特

如此不知過了多久 總算有一天
你度過了心情的低潮
同時也想起了你的瑪格麗特
天啊 可憐的花 她還活著嗎?

你戰戰兢兢地拉開窗簾
卻見她迎風招搖 花顏可掬
原來在過去的這段日子裡 你雖然忘了餵她喝水
老天卻沒忘了以雨露眷顧她呢

許多事物悄悄地在你的視線之外進行
而且悄悄地安排好了它們自己
天生萬物 天養萬物 一切其實無須擔心

1 Peter 5:7

你 們 要 將 一 切 的 憂 慮 卸 給 神 ， 因 為 他 顧 念 你 們 。